Single Mama Dating 101: Know What You WANT

Key-love-31501490-500-313Seems obvious, right? Not so fast. . . this step of the dating process might be the trickiest one yet. How many times have you found yourself wanting a certain somebody without ever having stopped to think about exactly WHAT you want in your ideal partner?

In this post you’ll receive concrete steps to take in order to get what you WANT.


The Universe wants your order, and it can be as detailed as you like. Understand, though, that the more details you list, the longer it might take the Universe to sift through the options out there and connect the two of you.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, make a specific list of what’s important to you. Someone compassionate? Someone who doesn’t pass judgment on self or others? What about someone who’ll be a good example of love for your children?

Specify what kind of relationship you want. You can always change this later and update your list, but if you want a friend or a fling, don’t ask for a life partner.   You have to be specific.

The Universe is literal. If your list says you want your partner to have a big truck, you could end up with a big rig in your driveway instead of the pick-up you were dreaming of.

Aside: For the record, pick-up is on my list. Some people ask me if I’m serious about asking for such a thing. The answer is: yes. Nothing is too petty to ask. You have to understand that you won’t get everything exactly the way you want it, but you’ll get what serves your Highest good and the good of All.

When I grew up in Indiana (close enough to the Bible Belt), I learned at a young age not to waste God’s time with insignificant requests (like a pick-up truck) because there were people in the world really suffering that needed God’s attention. Prioritize, right? Let me tell you something, WE don’t need to manage God’s calendar. The Universe? The Universe can do ALL of it ALL the time for EVERYONE. And whether you know it or not, you’re asking for things with your thoughts all day long everyday anyway, so why not make your request intentional?


Do NOT underestimate the energetic power of your thoughts. Your thoughts carry energy. Manifesting is happening much more quickly than ever before. This means that what you THINK about will appear much more quickly than it may have in the past.

This is why it’s crucial you think about what you WANT. It’s much too easy to slip into fear. If you fear a particular thing (a cheating partner, for example), you’re putting that thought out into the Universe and quite possibly manifesting your worst nightmare.

So STOP thinking about what you don’t want and start thinking about what you DO want.


Write (yes, literally write) a letter to the Universe (or whomever it is you call upon) and list everything you want in your partner. When you conclude your letter, tell the Universe that you have full faith in the power of the Universe to make the choices that serve the Highest good of All. Hand your request over, and let it go.  The Universe will decide the who and the when and also how closely their choice matches your list. Take your letter and keep in a safe and special place.  Remember, it’s crucial that you hand your request over at the end of the letter and TRUST the Universe to do its job . You also should end your letter by expressing gratitude to all those guides and angels and beings that are out there helping you along.


One super important caveat here: you canNOT ask for a specific person by name. This will infringe on that person’s freewill and create karma you don’t want to deal with. . . .ever. You have to trust the Universe to find the right match for you.

You can do this exercise even if you’re already with your Love. Make the list anyway if any part of you is looking for something more or something else. This gives the Universe a chance to heal what the two of you have. And if it’s time to move on, it will give you strength for that too.

The truth of the matter is you can have any partner you wish. Is there a catch? Yes!! There is. . . .You need to be aligned with Source. Stay tuned for my next piece in the Single Mama Dating 101 series to find out how to align with Source.

The biggest roadblock to this is YOU not believing you deserve what’s on your list. The most important thing you can do to manifest your desire is to cultivate self- Love. You need to LOVE YOU, which allows you to believe that YOU are the one that gets to decide who you spend your moments with.