What were you slated to do yesterday that you didn’t get to and pushed off until today? Are you actually doing it NOW?

It’s too easy to procrastinate, but that “easy” makes our life purpose “hard” to accomplish.  If you’re procrastinating, I’m going to argue: YOU’RE IN RESISTANCE MODE.  And, this, my friends, is my SPECIALTY.  If I’m an expert at anything, it’s this: Resistance.

Resistance comes disguised as many things. Resistance can be almost anything. Let me give you an example. If your marriage is rocky, that can consume your energy. What makes a relationship rocky? Drama. Someone is creating it; most likely it’s you. Here’s why I say that (and keep in mind both you and your partner might read this, so the point is we ALL do it): The more drama there is the more rocky things get, which means the more energy we spend. This is energy we could use to do what we really wish we were doing. I don’t say what we really “want” to be doing because resistance takes away the desire. Resistance makes the drama in the relationship look more appealing. We didn’t “wish” for drama in our relationship, so we’re not resisting that. We’re using the relationship to eat up our time and energy and create and maintain a buffer between us and the ACTUAL life we’re supposed to be living. (I’m allowed to say this; I’m an expert in creating drama. Ask my partner. He’s not too shabby either.)

Mamas, want me to hit even closer to home? We use mothering as resistance too. We can’t do yoga, right? We don’t have time because we have three kids and Sue gets out of school earlier than Johnny and Joey. So we have to juggle getting the twins off the bus while picking up their big sister after volleyball. And that’s if we’re lucky. Because some of us work until 5 and commute until 6, so we rely on Sue to take care of the twins or on our friends to carpool them here and there and always in the back of our head we’re worrying about them or missing them or feeling guilty because we asked our friends for help. By the time we finally get home, we can’t possibly cook a healthy meal for the family right? We’re exhausted, and it’s getting late, and pizza is a dial away.   (By which I don’t mean pizza is evil. I love the shit: the pizza AND the delivery.) I’m just trying to give a scenario, one that I deal with or hear about often, one that seems to create a buffer to separate a mama from her true life path.

Yes, mothering is your priority. I get that. But no one said you had to put your whole soul evolution on hold for 18 years (or longer).

I can’t sit and do a science project with my kid because I have to clean up the kitchen. The list goes on. We circle away and away from what we came here to do. Why? Because whatever gives us immediate satisfaction seems more appealing. Getting the kitchen clean is doable in a short amount of time. Seeing the positive effect of spending time doing science projects with my son might not be apparent until he is in high school or maybe, even better, I might never actually see the results at all. Maybe the results are internal in him; maybe the time I spend with him will give him strength and a belief in himself that is crucial to his life path. Will I ever know? Nope. I probably won’t. There are lots of variables as to why our kids grow up to be successful and loving. But was it the clean kitchen? I doubt it.

But the clean kitchen though!! Bam. I can do that. Hands down. In a short amount of time I can do that. I can see that I did it. I can check if off a list, if I’m into making those. Instant gratification. (This example, for the record, is all hypothetical. I rarely clean the kitchen.)

Let’s go back to the relationship example. Imagine you cut the shit, cut the drama, and the relationship heals by itself with you doing NOTHING except reclaiming your energy and redirecting it toward your life calling. So now you are doing what you were called to do, what you have wished to be doing all along, AND your relationship is in flow. Sounds perfect, right? Works with mothering too.  Take care of YOU and you will be a better mama.  Why the hell don’t we do it then? Resistance.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?

Mine is to write in order to commune with and help guide other women. Because I do this as a mother isn’t because I’ve got mothering figured out. It’s to commune; it’s to say, “Hey, listen, all of you!! Do you also feel like your head is going to pop through the ceiling at times?”

If you don’t know what your path is, don’t worry. Just keep following guidance (because you’re on the path). Here’s what I mean. This morning, I got the idea (I’d call it a message from my Higher self) to go into my office and revisit Joseph Campbell’s A Hero With a Thousand Faces. I have no idea why. I bought this book in college because someone told me Star Wars was based on it (and he was pretty hot). I read it then; I was fascinated. That was years ago (20 to be exact), so I don’t remember the book much now. I don’t know why this morning I thought of it or got it off a shelf. I just try to do these things when the message comes. The more I do, the more I stay on track with my life purpose.

Your life purpose is what brings meaning into your life. It’s what helps you realize when you wake up that it isn’t just about packing a lunch and seeing your kids off on the school bus and going into that job that pays the bills but you don’t really love or getting the groceries or cleaning up the house. Skip something. Instead, sit down with your kids, or paint with them (instead of just setting up the easel). Get outside with them. Read your “Campbell” book before bed instead of trying to mop the floor.

What’s stopping you? Resistance. Resistance is your ego. It’s telling you the floor should be clean. Or the bills should be paid. Or the sale on chicken only goes for a few more days, so you need to get over to the grocery tonight.

I hear you, opponents: YES, we ARE supposed to pay bills, and grocery shop, and even clean (unfortunately), but what I am saying is DO these things when they need to be done. Don’t do an extra load of laundry because you really don’t feel like starting your yoga practice until tomorrow. I mean, after all, it was a long week, right?

Don’t mop the floor because you’re afraid if you read the book before bed you’ll just fall asleep because you’re exhausted. Read ANYWAY. If you fall asleep it’s because the Universe is begging you to slow down and REST.

I can sum it up like this. Take time to LOVE yourself a teeny bit each day. And when resistance fights you on that, kick it in the *#&%@.

Keep choosing miracles, mamas. They’ll show up. They are bound toward you already.  And you are beautifully perfect AS you are RIGHT now.

<3

I am so excited to be writing a series of posts for all of us single mamas.  Of course, the ideas carry over to all mamas, but I felt strongly that single mamas need a little bit of a lift and a lot of Light and a reminder about how much they do and how amazing they will always be.

So I’ll Preface this series by saying:

I’ve read countless books and heard countless lectures about HOW to get things done, how to get organized, how to make freezer meals, how to get bills paid. Maybe those bits of advice are useful, but here is my take: life is SO much bigger and more FULL than freezer meals. I can make freezer meals; it might make dinner hour simpler. But at the end of the day, what I seek is fulfillment and JOY in my moments of motherhood. No handbook can give us this. It’s on US. WE get to decide. So in the following weeks you will read 3 of my suggestions. Do they tell you what to do? NO. Do they give you step by step? NO. That is on YOU. YOU are in charge of your life and your choices.

#1: Set An Intention

EVERY SINGLE DAY. Set an intention. Don’t worry about keeping it or sticking to it. Don’t worry about how it will play out. Don’t worry about logistics. Don’t worry about concrete details. How about this: DON’T WORRY. (This is something new that is in my intention each morning.) DON’T WORRY. Just for today, I will NOT worry. About ANYTHING. Not about the cable bill. Not about the crack in my windshield. Not about the pain in my abdomen. Not about my kid hitting another kid with a lunchbox. Not about my ex slandering me. NOTHING. I am NOT going to worry today. What’s amazing about this, is if you LOVE to worry, you can. . . TOMORROW! Right now, DON’T WORRY.

Your daily intention can be ANYTHING. Here’s mine from Jan 1, 2015:

Today I set the intention to live in freedom and in Love. Today I release fear. Today I choose not to worry and not to anger. Today I give my relationship to the Universe and relinquish control. Today I intend to respect my body like a temple of a Goddess and my heart like the Goddess it is.

What are your ideas/goals/ aspirations for 2015? I don’t believe in resolutions. Don’t put yourself in a box and tell yourself it has to go one way, so that when it doesn’t you can wallow in a nice strong drink. We aren’t looking for excuses to go backward.

Intention is foremost about believing in YOU. Period. Are you unsure? Do you think you might mess it all up?  Yay! You’re human. Yes, you might mess it all up. That’s not what this is about. What do you want?

Put down 5 things you WANT from your life right now (or in 2015 if you want to sync this with the Gregorian calendar). When you know what you want, you start to call it in. WRITE it down. Somewhere. I like to write it down and fold it up and put in a secret “intention” hideaway. No one needs to know about it. Will someone in your household think you’re nuts? Who CARES? Just write it. Find a place for safekeeping. This is a one-time gig (until your goals/thoughts/aspirations change).

NOW you are ready to set your daily intention. Every single day, first thing in the morning, set your intention. What’s your intention? Set it out. Say it aloud (or internally) directly to the Universe or God or Self or Angels. . . whatever you believe in.

I also suggest writing your daily intention somewhere. SO if you don’t want to keep a journal of daily intentions (which you certainly should), text them with your phone. Want to receive a text today from someone entirely in LOVE with you? Text yourself your intentions. Have a solid partner or friend who supports you and wants to see your Highest Good? Text it to her/him. Have an iPad? Write yourself a note.

Make it quick. Make it real.

If you happen to remember it, repeat it during the day.  If you forget, you will still come out ahead because you set the intention in the first place.

About my kid hitting someone with a lunchbox? He, too, gets to set an intention each morning before school.  Instead of focusing on what he did wrong (e.g. I intend not to hit anyone), we focus on his strengths.  (e.g. Today I intend to offer help to as many people as I can.)  This practice works for our kids too!

So today I set the intention to share the beautiful secret of Universal intention setting with as many as I can. Today I set the intention to live in Love. Today I set the intention to smile and feel warm in the below zero weather. Today I will be the best mother I can be. Today I will help as many people as I can. Today I will know that I am perfect, exactly as I am. Today I set the intention to call in and spend my life with the people that are willing and ready to align with the beauty of existence.

Love you all <3 Believe in yourSelves. Choose miracles. And stay tuned in because next post will be all about how YES, YOU deserve to take time for yourself to do what you need to do in your day. Your kids will benefit. In all cases, your kids will benefit.